


Lost

by DutchXfan



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-19
Updated: 2007-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-06 08:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/733493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DutchXfan/pseuds/DutchXfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I’d made a decision - I didn’t want to believe anymore.' -- Marie thinks about her little moment with Logan in the hallway in X3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost

‘I’m not your father. I’m your friend.’ 

Those were the words he said, just when I was about to give up. He couldn’t have picked a lousier time. I’d made a decision - I didn’t want to believe anymore. 

I didn’t want to believe in the good cause the professor and the others were fighting for. I didn’t want to believe in peace between humans and mutants, and I didn’t want to believe that my mutation didn’t matter, that I could live like anyone else, and be loved like anyone else, because that’s bullshit - I can’t. Above all, though, I didn’t want to believe in *him* anymore.

For almost two years I’d allowed myself to hope. I allowed him to push me away and pull me back in whenever he wanted. Our relationship was built on *his* foundation. Always on his terms, matching his needs. I was done with it. I was done with it all. 

But there he was. 

One sweep of those observant hazel eyes and one simple question were all it took. My confidence vanished into thin air. I had nothing to hold on to, and I was suddenly defending myself. Defending my decision. My feelings. My future. All he did was look at me. See me. He can so easily tune in with me. I didn’t stand a chance. 

‘I’m not your father. I’m your friend.’ 

Bastard. He knew damn well I had nowhere to hide. So… why? Why did he have to say it? Why did he have to rip me open, just when the wounds were so neatly stitched? He must’ve known what it would do to me. He’s an observant man. I never really tried to hide any of my feelings from him, because I knew it would be futile. I tried to avoid any awkwardness, but he must’ve known. Must’ve seen it in my face all this time. Must’ve sensed it, and yet, he still created the opening I thought was never there. 

Friends. 

It’s such a deceiving word. A friend is the color grey amongst relationships. It’s not a black or a white, like family. A father will always be a father. He might become your friend if you’re lucky. He can also become your foe, but whatever the case, he’ll always be your father. It’s a solid fact. 

But not friends. 

Friendships can change. They can mutate, for the better or the worse. One day you’re sharing secrets, the next you might realize that you’re nothing but acquaintances. You can even become strangers again. Strangers who share a few of the same memories. Pleasant, or not. Then, there’s also the kind of friendship that can evolve into a next stage. Into something more. Into something wonderful. Something like… lovers. 

‘I’m not your father. I’m your friend.’ 

The words haunt me. I hear them echoing inside my head, just like I hear him saying my name over and over again. 

‘Marie.’

Two syllables. My world shifted. It was the first time he said my name. Not kid. Not Rogue. Marie. Me. His rumbling voice - it sounded like a verbal caress. Embracing me, lifting me up, cradling me in the promise it held. Until he walked away. 

I just stood there, dazed. Filled with renewed, hollow hope. I felt myself turning around as well, my legs behaved as if they had a will of their own, and as I walked through the door, I allowed myself one last look into the hallway. 

It was empty. 

And I was lost again.


End file.
